3 Things I Saw Commuting on the Subway Today

Three things I saw commuting on the subway today.

1. Waiting at 49th Street for my train this morning I watched a rather large rat walk along the wall of the platform.  I stayed still, trying not to spook it, let it go about its business.  I thought it would walk around me.  But nope!  It walked right over my feet.  It’s claws tickled a little through my thick, wool socks.  When I twisted around to see where it would go, it darted off like a lightning bolt to hide behind a Metrocard machine (which is where I usually see the rats go down at that platform, they’re just not usually as large at this rat was).

2. When I got on the N train in Brooklyn to go home after work I sat down facing forward, near the front.  Two guys were sitting in the front two seats ahead of the door.  After the door closed the guy on the left took off his mask, poured some white powder out of a little jar onto the back of his hand and snorted it up his nose, then screwed the lid back on the jar, pulled his mask back up over his mouth and nose, then read on his phone till he exited the train at Canal Street.

3. The other guy sitting in the front got up at 34th Street - Herald Square and pushed his wire cart to the door, but didn’t get off.  He picked up a coffee cup off the ground and set it in his cart.  Then stood by the door when it closed and the train left for Times Square - 42nd Street.  The train switched from the express to the local track and he seemed a bit confused that it would be the opposite door, behind him, that was going to open.

At 42nd Street he turned around, pushed his cart to the door and stood there, looking vaguely confused when the door opened.  He stayed there, inside the train as a few people stepped in around him.  Till a pair of better dressed men came in, said something to the guy with the cart.  The guy with the cart picked up his fabric tote bag and coffee cup trash out of it and walked off the train.  

One of the better dressed men pulled the cart and took a seat at the front, while the other one sat opposite him.  Inside the cart, underneath the fabric tote bag the first guy took with him were several oblong bundles neatly wrapped in white plastic bags.  

Bodily Functions on Review

So, this week I hit the “trifecta” of witnessing bodily elimination functions during my commutes…

On Tuesday morning, riding the 4 train in Brooklyn, a sleeping guy got up from laying down on the bench and walked to the middle door, closed while the train was running, whipped it out and pissed, in full view of half a dozen passengers, men and women.

On Wednesday evening I was nearly home and saw a guy stretch out both arms on a sidewalk shed, scaffolding.  I thought he was just tired and stretching, but no…. He leaned over a large stream of orange liquid, like he’d been guzzling Irn-Bru, with a few scattered chunks came spewing out his mouth into the gutter alongside the street.  The low evening sun was shining bright from the opposite side, lighting up the stream of vomit to a glowing nuclear orange.

On Thursday evening I was on the N train, just pulling into 49th Street, where I get off.  I was standing at the very front door, almost with my nose on it.  As the train stopped I could see out one side of the window a rolling cart with some stuff in it, but the metal between the windows was blocking my view next to that.  Then the doors opened and there was a dirty bum, crouching, pants down, taking a shit.

On the lucky side, for the two evening ones I was wearing headphones so I didn’t hear any of the associated noises.  Oddly, and quite fortunately, I didn’t smell any of them…