Sunday, June 24, 2012

Neighbors Having Loud Sex

So is there some kind of etiquette for when your neighbors are loudly having sex?  And you're not?  Turn on the lights and let them know you're there?  Clap (like teenagers in the college dormitory)?  Mimic?  Or just keep quiet?

Not long ago a young couple moved in across the hall, let's call them Marisa and Nolan, to protect the horny.  While our doors are on opposite sides of the stairway landing, our bedroom windows face each other, about five or six feet apart.

Neither of us has an air conditioner window unit in the bedroom and both of us normally keep our bedroom windows open for ventilation.  While they've covered their window with a sheet to block the view, mine has a vertical blind the previous tenant left there, but they'd cut off the bottom half for an air conditioner that they took with them.

Marisa and Nolan frequently get home in the evenings at some point after I go to bed (usually in the 9pm time frame, but I have a lot of trouble falling asleep).  They come back and after banging up the stairs and slamming their apartment door (not unusual, almost everyone in the building except me does that) they turn on the light in the bedroom and if I'm not very deep asleep, that usually brings me further up in consciousness...

Then many nights I hear the obvious sounds of clothing being removed, with unbuckling a belt the most prominent specific sound and the light only flickered on quickly, sometimes long enough to light a candle, judging by the flickering (like I said, the previous tenant cut off half the blinds...).  Sometimes Marisa telling Nolan in a sing-song, "I'm waiting for you..."  It might be followed by kissing, might not...

Then within a few minutes Marisa starts yelling pretty loudly, "Oh yes!  Oh yes!  Oh god!  Oh YES!  Fuck Yes!  FUCK YES!"  Once she starts getting louder and faster, especially after the "Oh" turns to "Fuck" I can hear Nolan's grunting beginning and then it goes for a few minutes.

And then they're usually finished within about ten minutes, maybe fifteen...  Marisa sometimes winds down, post-coital, with some quieter, but still ecstatic "shit yes, oh shit yes..." On Friday evenings afterwards they often wish each other a Shabbat Shalom (or translated from Hebrew, "peace on the Sabbath," in English (nice that I have neighbors using the Sephardic pronunciation after spending all my time at work with Ashkenazi Jews who use their pronunciation, making me feel I'm losing a little bit of my heritage)).

They make enough noise that I see people stopping and listening at their door sometimes...  And they got started before I got to bed this past Friday night, while I was still brushing my teeth and getting ready, and I could hear their noise coming from the building hallway without even going into the bedroom...

I don't go out of my way to listen or be a voyeur, but our windows are simply that close together and on work nights I go to bed early and get up early...  I hear them loud and clear just going about my normal routines.

Over Memorial Day weekend there was another couple in the building.  I don't know who they were, possibly both were just hanging out with residents and partying.  The man I'm sure was, a Marine with shore leave for Fleet Week, and the girl I don't think was living here either, based on their loud, drunken conversation under my window.  They were making enough noise I could hear the slap of flesh on flesh as they had sex...  And he was enjoying slapping her by hand and asking "you like that, don't you?" and she'd say "yes".

Then there's another couple on another floor who've recently started making some noise.  It's similar but the woman yells out "Oh Baby!" as they work towards a climax.

It's not all fun and games for Nolan and Marisa, however...  At least one night a few weeks ago they came home around midnight, and Marisa was somewhat drunk.  Nolan said "you're all fucked up" to her and then they went to bed.  Then there was a loud *thump* and Nolan cursing at her that she shoved him out of the bed.  He said he was going to the other room, but Marisa said she would go, and then she did.  After they settled down again I heard Nolan say, to nobody but the dark, "I hate this shit."

The only other place I've stayed with such "thin walls" was the Old Palace Lodge in Dunstable, England where Tieto put me up on a couple of two week business trips.  Both times couples stayed in the room next to me.  One of them put on the TV, but if that was intended to mask the sounds of their lovemaking, it didn't really work, because the TV was all tinny and ineffective compared to the rich, full sound of human voices.

Oh well...  Compared to the noises I used to hear in India while trying to sleep, barking dogs, rickshaws, car horns, car backup alerts, yelling watchmen, jackhammers and so forth, the sounds of a couple making love, in pure ecstasy and happiness is much, much more pleasant.  I find myself smiling with a good feeling instead of cursing and swearing.

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